The Hippest Kids In Town

Recently, British Sky Broadcasting in the UK launched a brand-new television channel called Sky Atlantic. Sky Atlantic boasts an impressive array of high quality drama and comedy, the majority of its output coming from the US, and forty percent of those programmes from HBO. That means that not only does Sky Atlantic have exclusive rights to all new HBO programming, but it also has the world’s classiest Pic n Mix in the form of the HBO archive.

Perhaps the most popular and critically acclaimed of those archive shows is The Sopranos, of which Sky Atlantic is currently airing the first season. Re-watching these episodes only further cements my opinion that The Sopranos is not only one of the greatest television dramas ever created, but one of television’s greatest accomplishments, and if John Logie Baird had known back in the 1920s that one day the television screen would be broadcasting Tony Soprano bashing some guy’s head against the kitchen tiles, he would have been a very proud man.

So in honour of The Sopranos, I would like to review one of the most famous episodes, and one of my personal favourites, known simply as Pine Barrens.

Pine Barrens

Original airdate: May 6th, 2001 
Written by: Terence Winter
Directed by: Steve Buscemi

The Sopranos always straddled that line between gangster story and family drama, combining both narratives with a mix of humour, psychology, and anger. It was this blending of styles that made The Sopranos such a successful, and universally popular show. It appealed to a wide range of viewers, whether you were looking for a televised Godfather, a psychological drama, an Italian soap-opera, or, in the case of the episode I’m about to talk about, a laugh-your-arse-off comedy.

Brief episode synopsis: “We’re just two assholes lost in the woods.”

Pine Barrens is perhaps the most balls-out comedy episode of The Sopranos, it still has all the familiar elements of the mob story; money laundering, violence, “whacking”, but the tone feels less The Sopranos and more Comic Strip Presents…Four Men In A Car.

The main plot revolves around Christopher and Paulie, who have been sent by Tony to collect a debt from a man named Valery, an associate of the Russian mob. Paulie, being his usual charming self, relishes in mocking the Russian and his “universal remote control”, which he accidentally destroys. After insults are exchanged, Paulie attacks Valery, and ends up choking him to death (or so he thinks).

With a body to dispose of, Christopher and Paulie have to think fast, and Paulie suggests they take the body out to the Pine Barrens, a deserted woodland on the outskirts of town. What ensues is an increasingly hilarious comedy of errors.

If You Go Down To The Woods Today

Arriving at the Pine Barrens, our gangster Laurel & Hardy open the boot of their car, only to discover that Valery is still alive, and has gnawed his way through the duct tape. Angered by the situation, Chrissie and Paulie decide to do what all self-respecting bad guys should do at least once in their life-time, and that’s have your enemy dig their own grave. While Valery shovels away, Chrissie and Paulie become distracted, allowing the Russian to deliver one of the greatest shovel head-shots in television history.

As Valery makes a run for it, Paulie and Chrissie give pursuit, armed with their guns, and then comes the first big laugh of the episode, when Paulie shoots at Valery, clearly hitting him in the head, only for Valery to get back to his feet and continue his escape. Chrissie and Paulie share a look as if to say “Who the fuck is this guy?”

Are We There Yet?

The majority of the episode involves Christopher and Paulie lost in the desolate, frozen, snowy woods. It’s a simple conceit, but executed perfectly. Unable to locate Valery, or make contact with Tony, Chrissie and Paulie wander aimlessly, accidentally killing a deer, losing shoes, eating berries, arguing, and sharing one of the funniest scenes in the entire series inside an abandoned van.

The comedy of misunderstanding and miscommunication can have such a brilliant effect when used correctly, and the bad mobile phone reception between Tony and Paulie in this episode provides some classic lines:

Tony: “The guy you’re looking for is an ex-Commando, he killed sixteen Chechen rebels single-handed. He was with the Interior Ministry.”
Paulie: “You’re not gonna believe this, he killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. The guy was an interior decorator.”
Christopher: “Really? His house looked like shit.”

The other big belly laugh comes when Tony requests the help of Bobby Bacala, who turns up in his ridiculous hunting gear, much to Tony’s amusement. The two set off to the Pine Barrens to find Christopher and Paulie, and then in an episode which has mainly focused on humour comes a really sweet and touching scene, when for the first time, Tony tells Bobby how much he appreciates him. Bobby is by far the sweetest, most kind-hearted character in The Sopranos, and he gets a lot of shit flung at him, so for the often guarded and harsh Tony to finally praise Bobby is a real heartfelt moment.

The side plot of this episode is the continuing emotional and mental breakdown of Tony’s “bit-on-the-side” Gloria, culminating in an emotionally charged scene in which Gloria hurls a steak at Tony’s back. The events in this episode regarding this psychotic relationship lead to more disturbing outcomes in the following episodes.

The Odd Couple

But the stars of the show are Christopher and Paulie, and this episode belongs to them. Christopher and Paulie’s relationship was always one of the most interesting and comical in The Soprano’s universe, at times embroiled with bitterness and jealousy, other times secured by a shared sympathy over their hopelessness. These are two characters that bounced off each other with ease, and who were always given fantastic lines, just from this episode alone:

Christopher: “Russians? They’re not all bad.”
Paulie: “How about the Cuban Missile crisis? Cocksuckers moved nuclear warheads in to Cuba, pointed them right at us.”
Christopher: “That was real? I saw that movie, I thought it was bullshit.”

Sucking the contents of sauce sachets that they find in a discarded fast-food bag:

Paulie: “Not bad. Mix it with the relish.”

Chrissie noticing something in Paulie’s mouth:

Christopher: “What are those? Tic-Tacs?”
Paulie: “I just found them.”
Christopher: “You had Tic-Tacs all along? Gimmie some!”

There are so many memorable episodes of The Sopranos to choose from, and there are plenty that are much more emotional, dramatic, heart-breaking and impactful than this one, but in terms of a cleverly written, laugh-out-loud, comedy misadventure, Pine Barrens stands alone. I urge you, if you’ve never seen The Sopranos before and have access to Sky Atlantic, take the time to check it out, you won’t be disappointed.

by Martin Holmes